Sex Issues

Erectile dysfuntion and difficulties Having problems getting or maintaining an erection can create a great deal of stress. If you’ve had erectile difficulties, the odds are that you started approaching each sexual interaction with a fear that you will have problems with your erection again. It often creates a horrible self-fulfilling cycle and the domino effect of the partner experiencing a wide array of reactions including concern, rejection, loneliness, sexual frustration, anger, and avoidance themselves.

Uncontrolled (Premature) ejaculation For some men, the ability to control when they want to climax can cause dissatisfaction, anxiety, and disappointment for themselves and their partners, which only exacerbates the issue.

Inhibited (Delayed) ejaculation The difficulty to climax with a partner can cause discord between partners. Most men don’t feel it’s an issue until they’re in a long-term committed relationship and their partners are feeling anxious, rejected, frustrated, or worried.

Sexual trauma The sexual cycle response of desire (libido) and arousal (excitement) consists of physiological and emotional responses that prepare an individual to both receive and give pleasure. However, when there’s been a trauma that has been experienced, quite the opposite is true. The same sequence that aids the body in opening up to pleasure may feel like the very reason to shut down and avoid it. The body essentially freezes in a state of being stuck.

Infidelity Many times, couples decide to stay together after an affair or deceit and try to fix everything all at once and fail. Whatever issues emerge after the deceit, it is normal for things to feel clouded and to have the need to question everything that once was thought and believed about the relationship and each other. Sometimes a relationship will suffer when partners have differing recovery styles. Often, the betrayed partner, in attempting to understand, wants to repeatedly go over every detail of the affair, while the other avoids responding out of fear that they will never move on, never be forgiven, or be punished endlessly for the indiscretion. Relationships that succeed after the discovery of an affair take a more realistic approach. With infidelity counseling, each person is allowed to recover in their own way, on their own timeframe.

Loss of sexual desire/desire discrepency in a relationship Libido is a complex experience impacted by interpersonal relationships, diet, mental well-being, hormones, and other internal and external factors. Deepening intimacy with one’s partner, working with a sex therapist, cultivating a self-pleasure practice, meditation, and exercise can all help increase libido and connect one to one's somatic self.

Out of control sexual behaviors The term usually refers to a pattern of sexual behaviors that are problematic, distressing, and difficult to stop. It may involve negative consequences. Despite efforts to stop, sexual behaviors and urges continue. This results in feelings of despair, helplessness, and overwhelm. There are some who describe their behaviors as compulsive, compelling, and difficult to resist. These clients have more negative consequences. For example, the man who gets caught looking at porn at work and loses his job. Others are erotically conflicted. They are both drawn to and repelled by the same desire. Their sexual behaviors are distressing, but not necessarily compulsive. This client might have a sexual fetish that is very exciting, but he fears this fetish would never be tolerated by his spouse. The question for the client is “What is your conflict with your sexual behavior?” Some clients diagnose themselves. Others are diagnosed as sex addicts by their partners, ministers, employers, family members, or the culture at large.