REDEFINE YOURSELF AS A HUMAN

In our culture men (anybody who identify as one) have been led to believe that seeking help, particularly through therapy, signifies weakness. This belief stems from conventional male roles that prioritize self-reliance and emotional resilience. Men are often encouraged to "figure it out" on their own and to suppress challenging emotions.

While in recent decades our society has experienced rapid shifts in gender norms, men today often remain susceptible to traditional notions of masculinity and specific cultural expectations around how they should, or should not, feel and express their emotions. That is, it is still common for men to experience spoken or unspoken pressure to keep their feelings within, to “be a man” and not cry, and to avoid any other signs of vulnerability or weakness.  

Yet there is no doubt that men, just like others, experience significant stressors when it comes to relationships, careers, sexuality, parenthood, finances, and a range of other daily experiences. Men also tend to encounter certain emotional states or conditions with great frequency—for example, anger and irritability. This is partly because anger, frustration, and aggression are feelings that have historically been condoned by society as “accepted and expected” for males to express. When it comes to the many other emotions a man may actually be feeling, it can be challenging for him to acknowledge them, tease them apart, and identify how they are influencing his relationships, his sense of self, his behaviors, and even his broader life course. 

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BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

What defines a man? I believe it is the courage to confront adversity, the clarity of purpose, and the relentless pursuit of a meaningful mission. It requires a deep listening to one’s inner voice to uncover one’s true calling, while also recognizing personal needs without placing the burden of satisfying them on others.

A man must embody strength and resilience, remaining grounded yet open to new experiences. He should possess the courage to be present, to acknowledge his emotions, and to act in alignment with his core values.

Self-respect and acceptance are key, as is the belief in oneself that allows for treating others with respect, curiosity, and acceptance. Understanding personal boundaries and honoring those of others is vital. Taking the time to articulate one’s most significant challenges is invaluable for growth and connection.

EXPAND BEYOND YOUR LIMITS

Working with men has become incredibly rewarding. Many of us grow up learning to hide pain, avoid crying, rely solely on ourselves, and struggle with trust. While this approach may take us a certain distance, it’s important to recognize that these defenses can lead to challenges in our relationships, work, and creativity. Embracing vulnerability can open up new possibilities for connection and growth.
​Common concerns:

  • Some men turn to alcohol or other substances to cope with stress, emotions, or social expectations, which can lead to dependency and other issues.

  • Anger is socially accepted for men, but underlying emotions like sadness or fear are often neglected, leading to frustration and outbursts.

  • Many men experience depression or anxiety, but these conditions can go unrecognized due to reluctance to seek help or difficulty identifying emotional symptoms.

  • Cultural pressures often lead men to hide or ignore their emotions, creating barriers to emotional expression and connection.

  • Balancing fatherhood, career, and personal identity can be overwhelming, and many men feel unprepared or unsupported in their role as a parent.

  • Men are often less likely to maintain close, supportive friendships, which can result in loneliness and a lack of emotional outlets.

  • Difficulty expressing emotions can lead to miscommunication and conflict in romantic, familial, or platonic relationships.

  • Men may struggle with concerns related to sexual performance, intimacy, or body image, often fueled by societal pressures and unrealistic expectations.

  • High expectations to succeed can cause stress, burnout, and pressure to maintain financial stability, often without emotional support.